I am Aeroplane Jelly
Access via Rex
I love flying, what an incredible feat of mankind. I used to take the train back to Wodonga and it was eight hours of discomfort usually next to the craziest or drunkest person onboard. Then when flights became only 20 bucks more and seven hours less than the train journey, I became a frequent flyer and I’ve never looked back.
Don’t get me wrong, there are still negatives to flying. You have to arrive early, they confiscate your scissors and you have the guilt of a yeti-sized carbon footprint. But nothing beats the exhilaration of the plane speeding up after taxiing around and the feeling in your stomach that you are about to either take-off or explode. Unfortunately, far too many plane disasters of late are making me increasingly anxious about the latter.
There are three airlines that fly to Albury now - Qantas, Virgin Blue and Rex – but all are not created equal. I have only flown Qantas a couple of times and while the prices are generally out of my reach, it’s pretty reasonable when they offer promotional deals and well worth the price of the prosciutto, camembert and rocket paninis.
Virgin Blue on the other hand is a ‘no frills’ airline and you don’t even get a little sealed vial of luke-warm aeroplane water. But the flight’s only one hour and you do at least have peace of mind that you’re relatively safe and sound…
Which brings me to Regional Express (Rex). I flew home and back to Sydney with Rex this week and, while they do give you some water sealed in a container so that you will almost certainly spill the contents in your lap when you open it and a tiny packet of Pizza Shapes, the experience was horrible.
Unlike the other two airlines which have jet engines, Rex still has propellers that make an incredible amount of noise and seem to constantly struggle to keep the plane in the air and travelling in a straight line. Thus, I am utterly exhausted today from tensing every muscle in my body for the hour of terror. I guess it didn’t help that I sat in the airport departure lounge watching vision of a plane crash in Melbourne for half an hour. Oh well, I’ve never been so grateful to be on solid ground.
